Get ready to get back in the game
“ It pays to consider what you want and need at this phase of your life.”
When the holidays are over, the gifts have been abandoned, the kids are back in school, and the bills need to be paid, you might take a few moments to think about you. Have you thought lately about the career you left to raise your family? Are you ready to return?
If you’re one of those talented women who opted out in the last ten years, you probably thought the break would be short. Now, ten years later, maybe you’re wondering how hard it would be to go back, and it feels daunting.
In 2003 we made a survey asking women who had earned their MBA to tell us their stories. The resulting study was very highly profiled, and suggested that women who had taken a career break were in for a rough road back. It’s harder still in the most dramatic economic downturn of a generation. I’ve been working with talented, experienced women on the path back to work and they encounter the same negative perceptions, insecurities, and frustrations their colleagues faced five years ago.
Women who have taken a full-time career break often become aware of their need to return when they send their child off to college, or when their parents no longer need their full time care. Sometimes the impetus to head back to work is a result of the hard look at retirement savings, or they might simply remember they have more to give and want a place to contribute their time and energy.
I hear from many of you struggling with the challenge of getting ready, so I’ve prepared a holiday offering. This is a top ten list of tips for those of you getting back in the game in 2010. I’ve gleaned these ideas from my coaching and counseling work with professional women of all ages and at every career stage.
TEN TIPS FOR WOMEN RETURNING TO WORK
- Spend some time alone and think. It pays to consider what you want and need at this phase of your life. You might be tempted by the first opportunity that comes along. A job connection through a friend might seem like a timely, exciting way to transition back into the workplace, but it can backfire. Before you send a resume or pick up the phone, be very clear about what you want, what you value, and who you are now. This requires thoughtful reflection, so take some time to ask the following questions: Are you really ready? What do you want in a job? What do you need? What skills do you have now that you can bring to this role? What do you need to learn on the job? Also consider some practical points, such as do you have adequate coverage when the nanny is sick? These first baby steps are critical. If you interview before you really know who you are and what you want now you may get a negative response from the interviewer. You must build a powerful and thoughtful response to prepare for negative reactions. So, think and get ready. Arm yourself with confidence and clarity. Your job now is to be a serious, clear and powerful advocate for you.
- Build a learning group. Women learn best in connected conversation with others. The women I know who have been able to create small learning communities with other women returning to work seem to handle the process better. They feel supported and use each other to broaden their networks. They share resources, find ways to build on one another’s strengths, and shore up each other’s weaknesses. They even help one another practice before the interview. A terrific learning group will become your home base and keep you disciplined about follow up.
- Reinvent your resume. People don’t get jobs through the resume alone. But you won’t get a job without one either. I am often asked if it’s advisable to reveal that you’ve been “out” of work. It’s hard to say what is best because each job has a unique pace and power, and the resume can play a different role in each interview. But I think your resume should be an honest, authentic representation of you, and should reduce your need to explain or defend your choice to opt out. Use your resume to frame your break time in business language and present your results in business terms. For example, here are two different responses to the dreaded Well-what-have-you-been-doing question: Oh, nothing really my kids take up a lot of time but I do volunteer at the school and I organized the fund raiser last year, and oh, I did the kids garden program too. Or, “Well, I made the decision to step out to focus on my family for the last few years. But to make sure I keep learning and growing I took on two projects. Coordinating three local food retailers and fifty parents to create a children’s community garden at the school. I also organized the annual fund raiser. We raised $50,000 to build a new classroom.
- Take a look in the mirror. Working in your role as mother, daughter, or community volunteer may have shifted your image a bit. Take a look at how you appear to others, how you speak, and what kind of professional image you currently project. This can be hard to do given the pressures of the media to look like, in my case, Judy Dench, and in my daughter’s case, Kate Hudson. But you get the point. Before you land that first interview make sure you are conscious of the professional image that will best serve you in the job. Remember, if you have been out of the workforce for more than a few years norms have changed, so make sure the presence you project is professional and energetic.
- Build and broaden your network. One woman recently told me how reluctant she was to reach out to her friend at a holiday party. She thought it was intrusive. I beg to differ. If you are ready to go back to work the chances of finding a job through an ad on Monster.com is slim. Your friends who are working now, their husbands and wives who are working now, your gym buddies, your yoga teacher, the other members of your community board, all these people know you. They know what you can do and they are the most likely source of information about jobs. I’m not suggesting you hand out a business card (you should have one though) with every handshake but you should be ready to tell people you plan to return to work. Your elevator speech should be ready and you should let others know you would welcome an opportunity to get in the door and prove what you can do. People will help, and if they say “call me and let’s talk,” do it! It’s a test. Your follow up tells people just how serious you are.
- Manage your emotions. The demonstration of emotional intelligence can make or break an interview. If you don’t know what we mean by emotional intelligence then get reading, but you don’t need a course to tell you that you need to manage your emotional reactions in service to your goals and objectives. Do you feel defensive about your choices? Then talk to your friends and support system until you can reframe that defensiveness in a constructive way. You want to show the interviewer and your future boss that you realize not everyone makes the same choices but you made yours happily (I hope!) and now you’re moving to a new phase of your career. Defensiveness is your enemy. So is disappointment. Many times women who don’t get the first job they interview for will feel depressed for days. Be very careful about this and remember that every interview gives you an opportunity to learn more about yourself. Let your energy and enthusiasm show. Your passion for the work will be seen as an asset not a problem.
- Keep learning. Don’t take interviews just to learn. This is a waste of everyone’s time. That said, however, every step along the road back to work is an opportunity to learn. The interview process should be a sincere interaction designed for you to communicate at your best. If you don’t communicate well, if you find yourself stifled by a question, then become rigorous in your analysis of what took place and learn from it. Ask yourself the painful questions: What happened? When did I start feeling defensive in that interview? What caused me to stumble through that question? Develop your skills as a learner and that skill will be one of the most attractive of your attributes.
- Follow up. You must thank people for their time. If you said you’d do something, such as providing additional information, do it and never make promises you cannot keep. The follow up to an interview — or networking contact — is part of the interview. Don’t let yourself down.
- Stay disciplined. Once you are clear on your goals, your resume is ready, and you look and speak the role, then stick with the plan. Keep a journal and meet with your support group for a disciplined follow up process. Remember the performance plans you used each year for your bonus? Well make a version of this for the job search and be rigorous and disciplined about measuring progress.
- Reward yourself. I think the most difficult part of the returnee’s journey is the absence of affirmation. It is a struggle to keep yourself motivated when you don’t land the job over a long period. Try to remember this and find inexpensive ways to connect with others and yourself as a reward and affirmation for moving forward. I speak to many women who never even attempt to return to work. They find themselves years later regretting and resenting. You at least are moving in the right direction. So, give yourself a lunch out with a friend. Call someone you have not heard from in years. Take a class as a conscious reward for your efforts. Remember this might take a long time but I am sure you have not lost IQ points staying at home, and you are still capable and competent. You will get there…but it might take time.
Good luck and Happy New Year.
Monica
PS: Drop me an email if you would like to schedule a time to meet with me or would like to attend a seminar. mcgrath@resourcesforleadership.com 215 640 0570 or if you would like a copy of the original study.
References: Women Stepping-Out and Then Back into the Workforce: Monica McGrath Ph.D., Marla Driscoll,, and Mary Gross (Director, Merrill Lynch Investment Managers, Head of Learning & Development) studied (2005) the challenges faced by professional women who “stepped out” of their careers for a period of time and then returned to the workforce, or attempted to do so. They also examined actions that companies, academic institutions, and individuals take to facilitate such re-integration into the workforce.
