Mentoring Missteps
Mentoring affects men and women differently, in both promotions and pay. HR leaders who wish to create more effective programs might be better served by focusing on “sponsorships” rather than mentoring. The difference? Sponsors are held accountable for the success of the persons they have taken under their wings.

By Marlene Prost
It’s not what you know; it’s who you know. Anyone with any lingering doubts about the validity of that expression in the corporate world just needs to look at the results of a recent study by Catalyst, a New York-based advocacy for women group.
The study finds that men with MBAs who are mentored get more promotions and higher pay than women with mentors because they hitch their stars to higher-ranked executives.
For years, women in business have been urged to find a mentor to provide career guidance, either informally or through formal company programs. In fact, some women have reported feeling “mentored to death with nothing tangible to show” from the association, according to the Catalyst report, Mentoring: Necessary But Insufficient for Advancement.
“Mentoring is important, but to make it to the top, someone needs to be pulling you up,” says Christine Silva, Catalyst’s Toronto-based director of research and an author of the study.
This is Catalyst’s third published report from a longitudinal study of 4,143 high-potential MBA alumni who graduated between 1996 and 2007 from 26 top business schools. Twenty-six percent of the participants are women.
“The bigger question we’re asking is why women are lagging from the first day. … What we see is, really what matters is how highly placed [the mentors] are. That means they are in a position to provide more than advice, guidance and to show the ropes. Someone very senior can provide sponsorship,” says Silva.
The problem for women is that men are far more likely to hook up with top-echelon mentors because, like them, they are male.
“Research shows that when left to their own devices, individuals choose to associate with others like themselves. Thus men are more likely to affiliate with other men and women with other women,” states the report.
The literature has shown for years that people find it “awkward” to be advised by someone of the opposite gender, says Monica McGrath >, an adjunct assistant professor at the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia. “Senior executives don’t initiate finding women. … It’s easier to just ask men [they] know.”
More men in the study (62 percent) than women (52 percent) had a mentor at the CEO or senior-executive level. The good news is that the sex of the sponsor doesn’t matter — just how high he or she is in the organization. The bad news is that even women with senior level support didn’t get the same salary as men.
Men with mentors earned $9,260 more in their first job than women with mentors, and $6,726 more than men without a mentor. But women with mentors were paid only $661 more than women without a mentor. After that, the men received more promotions and got higher salary increases per promotion: 21 percent versus 2 percent for women.
People tend to use mentor and sponsor interchangeably, Silva says. While a mentor can also be a sponsor, a sponsor takes an active role in advancing someone’s career.
Companies should strengthen their mentoring programs by adding “elements of sponsorship, focusing on how to advance someone instead of [just] developing them,” Silva says.
Silva suggests that companies create a talent-identification system that encourages high-level executives to sponsor the progress of high-potential employees.
“Rather than let individuals choose favorites, it’s a way to identify top talent. Many organizations already have a talent-identification system in place. It’s a matter of taking it to the next level,” Silva says.
Women need to link up with sponsors earlier in their careers, says Kerrie Peraino, chief diversity officer for American Express in the greater New York area.
“Across all levels, only about one in five women will claim a sponsor and only one in eight claim more than one. When I talk with women about the sponsor effect, they understand the concept and how important it is, but they often haven’t got around to getting one or two for themselves,” Peraino says.
Women’s stagnation on the corporate ladder is an urgent matter, according to Catalyst, which has also just released two annual 2010 Census Reports of Fortune 500 women executives that show no significant increases for women at the top. The number of women holding board seats went up only .5 in one year, to 15.7 percent. Women in executive officer positions went up .9 percent to 14.4 percent, while more than 10 percent of boards had no women directors.
Mentoring is too often “another program of the week,” says < McGrath >. Sometimes the relationship works, but most of the time the two participants “don’t click.”
New York-based KPMG has created a diversity-oriented program that identifies “high potentials” among employees who traditionally need a boost, including women, the disabled, and gays and lesbians. Senior leadership is engaged in sponsoring candidates and supporting their development for the top 200 roles in the firm.
“You have to focus on the groups you want to advance. … There is a clear focus on women. We have the most senior members of the firm and national partners actually engaged in relationships with high potentials, to make sure they have the right exposure and sponsorship to achieve a [higher] level,” says Kathy Hannan, KPMG’s national managing partner for diversity and corporate responsibility.
“I do think there’s definitely a difference between mentoring and sponsorship, and people tend to confuse the two. I believe goals are what create sponsors. …Mentoring is important, but when someone is really accountable for helping development of the individual, it’s where the rubber hits the road,” she says.
The key to the success of a sponsorship program, agree experts, is holding sponsors accountable for the success of the persons they have taken under their wing — and measuring that success.
“If [the sponsored employee] is not getting ahead, it puts the onus on [the sponsor],” Silva says. Besides, “sponsoring high performers can make you look good.”
< McGrath > agrees. “Companies should expect seniors to mentor, and evaluate them if they don’t. Reward them when they do. Make it public and explicit. … Measure performance based on how [the employee] advances.”
The Catalyst study is further evidence that more women are needed at the upper echelons of management, and that women need to build social networks early in their careers to create “critical mass,” < McGrath says.
Many companies still promote top executive women for “cosmetic” reasons, rather than as “a long-term strategy for increasing business results,” she says.”I have a lot of optimism. I talk to women who have graduated with executive MBAs, who are dedicated to building bonds with women. This is definitely the spirit.”
For example, this year, American Express hosted its first summit for top women managers to “increase engagement from our senior female talent and to put a spotlight on the importance of creating meaningful sponsorship relationships,” Peraino says.
There are three key elements to a successful mentoring or sponsorship program, Peraino says. “You need engagement from the top and an executive team willing to lead by example; a clear goal and program that will be compelling to your employees; and communicate, communicate, communicate.”
January 5, 2011
Copyright 2011© LRP Publications

When the holidays are over, the gifts have been abandoned, the kids are back in school, and the bills need to be paid, you might take a few moments to think about you. Have you thought lately about the career you left to raise your family? Are you ready to return?

If you’re one of those talented women who opted out in the last ten years, you probably thought the break would be short. Now, ten years later, maybe you’re wondering how hard it would be to go back, and it feels daunting.

In 2003 we made a survey asking women who had earned their MBA to tell us their stories. The resulting study was very highly profiled, and suggested that women who had taken a career break were in for a rough road back. It’s harder still in the most dramatic economic downturn of a generation. I’ve been working with talented, experienced  women on the path back to work and they encounter the same negative perceptions, insecurities, and frustrations their colleagues faced five years ago.

Women who have taken a full-time career break often become aware of their need to return when they send their child off to college, or when their parents no longer need their full time care. Sometimes the impetus to head back to work is a result of the hard look at retirement savings, or they might simply remember they have more to give and want a place to contribute their time and energy.

I hear from many of you struggling with the challenge of getting ready, so I’ve prepared a holiday offering. This is a top ten list of tips for those of you getting back in the game in 2010. I’ve gleaned these ideas from my coaching and counseling work with professional women of all ages and at every career stage.

TEN TIPS FOR WOMEN RETURNING TO WORK

1. Spend some time alone and think.  It pays to consider what you want and need at this phase of your life. You might be tempted by the first opportunity that comes along. A job connection through a friend might seem like a timely, exciting way to transition back into the workplace, but it can backfire. Before you send a resume or pick up the phone, be very clear about what you want, what you value, and who you are now. This requires thoughtful reflection, so take some time to ask the following questions: Are you really ready? What do you want in a job?  What do you need?  What skills do you have now that you can bring to this role? What do you need to learn on the job? Also consider some practical points, such as do you have adequate coverage when the nanny is sick? These first baby steps are critical. If you interview before you really know who you are and what you want now you may get a negative response from the interviewer. You must build a powerful and thoughtful response to prepare for negative reactions. So, think and get ready. Arm yourself with confidence and clarity.  Your job now is to be a serious, clear and powerful advocate for you.
2. Build a learning group. Women learn best in connected conversation with others. The women I know who have been able to create small learning communities with other women returning to work seem to handle the process better. They feel supported and use each other to broaden their networks. They share resources, find ways to build on one another’s strengths, and shore up each other’s weaknesses. They even help one another practice before the interview. A terrific learning group will become your home base and keep you disciplined about follow up.
3. Reinvent your resume. People don’t get jobs through the resume alone. But you won’t get a job without one either.  I am often asked if it’s advisable to reveal that you’ve been “out” of work. It’s hard to say what is best because each job has a unique pace and power, and the resume can play a different role in each interview. But I think your resume should be an  honest, authentic representation of you, and should reduce your need to explain or defend your choice to opt out. Use your resume to frame your break time in business language and present your results in business terms.  For example, here are two different responses to the dreaded Well-what-have-you-been-doing  question: Oh, nothing really my kids take up a lot of time but I do volunteer at the school and I organized the fund raiser last year, and oh, I did the kids garden program too. Or, “Well, I made the decision to step out to focus on my family for the last few years. But to make sure I keep learning and growing I took on two projects. Coordinating three local food retailers and fifty parents to create a children’s community garden at the school. I also organized the annual fund raiser. We raised $50,000 to build a new classroom.
4. Take a look in the mirror. Working in your role as mother, daughter, or community volunteer may have shifted your image a bit. Take a look at how you appear to others, how you speak, and what kind of professional image you currently project. This can be hard to do given the pressures of the media to look like, in my case, Judy Dench, and in my daughter’s case, Kate Hudson. But you get the point. Before you land that first interview make sure you are conscious of the professional image that will best serve you in the job. Remember, if you have been out of the workforce for more than a few years norms have changed, so make sure the presence you project is professional and energetic.
5. Build and broaden your network. One woman recently told me how reluctant she was to reach out to her friend at a holiday party.  She thought it was intrusive.  I beg to differ.  If you are ready to go back to work the chances of finding a job  through an ad on Monster.com is slim. Your friends who are working now, their husbands and wives who are working now, your gym buddies, your yoga teacher, the other members of your community board, all  these people know you. They know what you can do and they are the most likely source of information about jobs. I’m not suggesting you hand out a business card (you should have one though) with every handshake but you should be ready to tell people you plan to return to work. Your elevator speech should be ready and you should let others know you would welcome an opportunity to get in the door and prove what you can do. People will help, and if they say “call me and let’s talk,” do it! It’s a test. Your follow up tells people just how serious you are.
6. Manage your emotions. The demonstration of emotional intelligence can make or break an interview.  If you don’t know what we mean by emotional intelligence then get reading, but you don’t need a course to tell you that you need to manage your emotional reactions in service to your goals and objectives. Do you feel defensive about your choices? Then talk to your friends and support system until you can reframe that defensiveness in a constructive way. You want to show the interviewer and your future boss that you realize not everyone makes the same choices but you made yours happily (I hope!) and now you’re moving to a new phase of your career.  Defensiveness is your enemy. So is disappointment. Many times women who don’t get the first job they interview for will feel depressed for days. Be very careful about this and remember that every interview gives you an opportunity to learn more about yourself. Let your energy and enthusiasm show. Your passion for the work will be seen as an asset not a problem.
7. Keep learning. Don’t take interviews just to learn. This is a waste of everyone’s time. That said, however, every step along the road back to work is an opportunity to learn. The interview process should be a sincere interaction designed for you to communicate at your best. If you don’t communicate well, if you find yourself stifled by a question, then become rigorous in your analysis of what took place and learn from it. Ask yourself the painful questions: What happened? When did I start feeling defensive in that interview? What caused me to stumble through that question? Develop your skills as a learner and that skill will be one of the most attractive of your attributes.
8. Follow up. You must thank people for their time. If you said you’d do something, such as providing additional information, do it and never make promises you cannot keep. The follow up to an interview — or networking contact — is part of the interview. Don’t let yourself down.
9. Stay disciplined. Once you are clear on your goals, your resume is ready, and you look and speak the role, then stick with the plan.  Keep a journal and meet with your support group for a disciplined follow up process. Remember the performance plans you used each year for your bonus? Well make a version of this for the job search and be rigorous and disciplined about measuring progress.
10. Reward yourself. I think the most difficult part of the returnee’s journey is the absence of affirmation.  It is a struggle to keep yourself motivated when you don’t land the job over a long period.  Try to remember this and find inexpensive ways to connect with others and yourself as a reward and affirmation for moving forward. I speak to many women who never even attempt to return to work. They find themselves years later regretting and resenting. You at least are moving in the right direction. So, give yourself a lunch out with a friend. Call someone you have not heard from in years. Take a class as a conscious reward for your efforts. Remember this might take a long time but I am sure you have not lost IQ points staying at home, and you are still capable and competent.  You will get there…but it might take time.

Good luck and Happy New Year.

Monica

PS: Drop me an email if you would like to schedule a time to meet with me or would like to attend a seminar.  mcgrath@resourcesforleadership.com 215 640 0570 or if you would like a copy of the original study.

References: Women Stepping-Out and Then Back into the Workforce: Monica McGrath Ph.D., Marla Driscoll,, and Mary Gross (Director, Merrill Lynch Investment Managers, Head of Learning & Development) studied (2005) the challenges faced by professional women who “stepped out” of their careers for a period of time and then returned to the workforce, or attempted to do so.  They also examined actions that companies, academic institutions, and individuals take to facilitate such re-integration into the workforce.